I'm weary

Yesterday was rough.  For me.  

My mom and I had dental cleanings last Saturday (9/6).  That night, she got floss stuck in her teeth, so I brought her back to the dentist on Monday to get it picked out. The dentist found a defect in a crown that had caused the floss to rip but he didn't have time to fix it, so we went back yesterday and got that fixed. That was the third visit in ten days. I work full time and had made the appointment when my work schedule was clear. A few days later, a work meeting was scheduled at the exact same time. I tried listening in to the meeting while I picked Mom up and drove her to the dentist. My work phone doesn't support Bluetooth, so I slid it in my seatbelt by my ear and tried to listen above the road noise but ended up dropping it while turning my head and missed most of the meeting. It was frustrating. It took all my self-control to not take it out on my mom.  It wasn't her fault I had a scheduling conflict. It wasn't her fault there was a problem with a crown. It wasn't her fault the floss ripped. I sucked it up and pushed it down, dropped her back off at home, and went back to work from home.

A month ago, I had made a follow up appointment with her neurologist for yesterday afternoon, so for the second time that day, I picked her up and drove her to an appointment. At least this time, I wasn't missing a meeting. There are two schools between my house and hers, so I had to deal with buses and slow school zones since it was around 2:30 when I went to get her.  We arrived at the 3:00 appointment on time and proceeded to wait until after 3:30 to be seen. I was feeling defeated and didn't even have the energy to be annoyed about waiting. I could sense my mom getting annoyed on my behalf and just hoped she wouldn't make a stink about it. Luckily, she didn't. The doc spent a couple minutes with her, upped her Aricept dosage, and added memantine (Namenda). The word "Alzheimer's" was mentioned for the first time at this appointment. If my mom caught it and understood the significance, she said nothing. I asked how he knew it was Alzheimer's and not, say, vascular dementia. He said there was no way to know but the treatment is the same either way. We see an associate of his in three months for her follow-up, so maybe I'll get more info next time.

So here I am today.  I took the day off from work because I was beyond stressed by the time I was done chauffeuring yesterday afternoon, and also so I can put in a couple hours of work that I missed doing yesterday. I'm also planning to go shopping for shoes to go with the dress I'm wearing to my stepdaughter's wedding next month. I spent two hours on Sunday trying on bras to go with this dress and was too worn out to look at shoes afterward. (The dress has an asymmetrical neckline that would show the top of a regular bra on one side.) I also need a haircut. I'm stressing about when to schedule that in relation to the wedding date. And, of course, I need to pick up Mom's new meds and get her some cranberry pills that she's about to run out of. 

My mom thinks I'm at work in my office today. I'm not telling her otherwise.